"You need to toughen up. You take things too personally, you're too sensitive."
If you're highly sensitive, an empath or simply a deep feeler, you've probably heard that before.
If so, you're not alone.
Keep reading to learn more about how you can toughen up without losing your soft, sensitive side.
Hi, I’m Tree and I've been told to "toughen up" more times than I can count. And I can count pretty high. :)
Having been told I'm "too sensitive" my entire life, I used to feel as though there was something fundamentally wrong with me, that I was somehow born flawed and cursed. While everyone else walked around with thick, impenetrable skin, somehow not caring much about anything, mine was thin and absorbent. Almost everything affected me deeply, from an unkind word to a neglected animal to a distant war raging in a far off country.
I not only felt my own emotions deeply, I also sensed other people's emotions and often took them on as my own. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference and didn't even know I was doing it. I thought I was just moody. One minute I'd be feeling great and the next, after engaging in a conversation with someone, I'd leave feeling drained and depleted, even sad. Many times it had nothing to do with the topic of conversation and usually, the other person left feeling better while I left feeling worse. Being around a lot of people at once was too much for me and I could stand an hour, two tops, before I was done.
And I couldn't get home quickly enough, to my blissful solitude - the only time I ever felt truly ME - and recover.
Every morning, I’d spend hours meditating, journaling and centering myself, and I’d feel great. But the moment I saw or talked to someone else, it felt like their energy immediately dominated mine and I’d lose the peace and calm I’d worked so hard to get all morning.
It wasn’t until I discovered that there were others like me (1.4 billion people, according to Dr. Elaine Aron, leading researcher of the innate trait of high sensitivity) that I started to feel like a part of something larger than me and finally gave myself permission to stop beating myself up for being so emotionally affected.
After beating myself up for years, believing I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, tough enough, anything enough, I finally decided enough was enough.
That was my turning point, when I realized I could no longer live in a constant state of anxiety, stress, overwhelm and fragile vulnerability to the outside world.
I had to find a way to pull myself together, take charge of my rampant thoughts and overflowing emotions and get my life back. And so began the long process of rediscovering myself, learning everything I can about my sensitivities, what Sensitive, Intuitive or Empathic people, like me, can control and what we can't.
What I discovered along the way was:
We don't have to hide in the bathroom at social gatherings to get away from all the noise, people and overstimulation. There’s a way to genuinely enjoy it, without feeling drained at the end of the night.Even if we're introverts.
We don't have to imagine force fields and project invisible bubbles around us to protect us from bad and unwanted energies. There’s a way to eliminate the need for energetic protection, no matter who or what surrounds us.
We don't have to avoid “energy vampires” and narcissists, be on constant high alert for them and live in fear that they might suck us dry. There’s a way to stand strong in our own empowered energy and let them come and go without affecting us at all.
We don't have to disregard our own needs, lose ourselves or get sucked into someone else’s problems every time our loved ones need help. There’s a way to serve and support other people without compromising our own energy.
We don't have to close our hearts, become cold, distant or numb because we're afraid to get hurt. There’s a way to be vulnerable, open and loving while remaining grounded and strong.
And best of all, I discovered that we get to have a say in how we live and feel.
We get to be WHO WE FUNDAMENTALLY ARE. Sensitive. Empathic. Introverted. Deeply emotional. And we don’t have to apologize for it, explain it or hide it anymore.
In fact, I’m proud of who I am today. I've worked hard to get where I am. I've spent decades in therapy, taking workshops, seminars, reading, journaling, meditating, soul searching, praying to a God I didn't even know existed. And finally, after 45 years, I figured out why I was always so emotionally torn, feeling broken and wrong. And I created a process to move forward... happy, confident and empowered. I built the strong internal foundation I never had as a child or adult.
And I can show you how to do the same.
Once I figured it out, my life exploded and amazing things started happening to me. I was no longer afraid to show up fully in this world and I’ve since been:
I’ve taken the best of what I’ve learned and put it in an easy-to-follow online course that teaches you the fundamental principles to build a strong core within you so you can be emotionally resilient.
HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS COURSE
Emotional Resilience: How to Control Your Emotions & Toughen Up Without Losing Your Soft, Sensitive Strengthscontains powerful, transformative lessons in the form of online videos, downloadable PDFs and printable worksheets for deeper self-exploration with guided step-by-step instructions and every day real-life practices that will teach you how to:
Remain calm and grounded no matter what's going on around you (without meditating)
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
Regain power over your own emotions instead of letting them consume or overwhelm you
DISCOVER YOUR VALUES
Figure out what's truly important to you so you can release all the drama and chaos
Discover the #1 thing you do that causes your emotional pain and how to stop hurting so much
SHIFT YOUR ENERGY
Quickly transform painful emotion to powerful energy in 4 simple steps
STAND YOUR GROUND
Let criticism and negative comments roll off your back without taking things personally
“With the knowledge and techniques you’ve taught me in your course, I more readily not only giggle with myself about why and what and how I treat and talk to myself, I now have a loving way to move myself towards better habits & feelings... You are able to help us understand we have control within our power of awareness and understanding to adopt positive habits, reflexes and mindsets that empower us and release and transmute our bullshit.”
Jade L - Success Coach
HERE'S WHAT ELSE YOU'LL GET:
24/7 Access From Anywhere
You'll be given access to the student portal where you can login 24/7, watch the videos as often as you want, when you want from anywhere you want, on any device you want. Complete the course at your own pace and in your own time, in the comfort of your own home.
Unlimited Lifetime Updates
You’ll have unlimited lifetime access to all the course materials and all future updates. That means you can start when the course opens or when you're ready. From time to time, based on student feedback, I make updates and changes to my courses to better serve you. You'll have FREE access to those too.
Private Facebook Community
You’ll get access to my secret Facebook community where you can ask questions & get support directly from me and other members as you move through the course and beyond. Membership to this community is only for members who have taken one of my courses.
100% Money Back Guarantee
I stand by the value of my course content and customer service 100% so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, just email us and you'll get a full, no-hassle refund within 30 days of purchase. And you can keep the worksheets you've downloaded.
“I’m so F***ING glad I found you, Tree!!!! You have led me into a transformation that I had no idea in the world was possible!!! I wake up every morning now, confident that I can handle the day instead of dreading it! I am able to love myself. I know what my core values are and how to use them to ground myself when I feel emotional overwhelm. And I can use my ability to feel the emotions of others to help them feel understood and valid. Thank you so much for helping me on this journey! I am doing things I NEVER EVER thought I could do!!!!”
Claire R - Bookkeeper
YOU CAN HAVE ALL THIS FOR $197
The course officially opens and materials will be released and available at 6:00am PST on February 1, 2017.
Don't make 2017 a repeat of 2016 and the years before. You've been yearning to stop being so sensitive for too long. Stop yearning and start transforming your sensitivities into gifts.
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE: How to Control Your Emotions & Toughen Up Without Losing Your Soft, Sensitive Strengths is a self-paced online e-course. The suggested time frame to complete the course is 3 weeks but you can speed through it (not recommended) or take your time to go through the videos, practice the exercises and do the worksheets.
We dive pretty deep in this course and some lessons explore parts of ourselves that may be difficult to face, so I've enlisted the help of my whimsical muse, Stick Girl (she's the stick figure doodle in the pink dress), to make it as playful and fun as possible throughout the lessons.
This is NOT merely an informational course where I just feed you a bunch of scientific facts and psychological premises. It's a fully immersive deep dive exploration into YOU and will give you crystal clarity on:
WHY you feel so emotionally overwhelmed and torn all the time.
WHY people drain you, even the ones you love dearly.
WHY you're the listener, supporter and helper to your friends and family but everyone (including you) seems to forget about YOUR needs and desires.
WHY one minute you're content and love people and the next, you hate and want to kill everyone. ;)
WHY you feel like an emotional pin ball bouncing back and forth all the time, easily set off by small things.
Why you take things personally.
More importantly than answering these questions, it's a roadmap toward your TRANSFORMATION.
You'll learn HOW to change all of the above without changing who you fundamentally are.
I'll give you powerful, practical and actionable exercises that you can do in any given situaton.
Here's what some of my students say about my exercises:
“I feel so much better after your exercise. I don't feel as edgy or angry all the time. And the best part is not feeling so empty. I so appreciate you and your courses and coaching. You really do know what it's like to be an empath and are a real gem for how you have helped me find my balance. ”
“Before doing your exercise, I felt angry, frustrated, upset, sad, distraught and scattered. Like I just can't do anything or get anything right and exhausted on every level. After doing the exercise, I felt at peace with myself and that it's all okay... unconditional love."
Here's the course syllabus so you can see exactly what's covered in the video lessons:
MODULE 1 - WEEK 1
Emotional Clarity: The Liberating Truth About Your Emotions
Laying a strong foundation
“Why am I cursed with such deep, intense feelings?”
What are emotions, really?
What your specific emotions are trying to tell you (it’s not what you think)
Is it really possible to go from angry, frustrated or upset to happy, light and carefree in a matter of seconds? (pssst... the answer is yes!)
How to get a grip on your emotions so they don't grip you
A real-life practical example of what to do when you're triggered by something someone does or says (laid out step-by-step)
The one thing you do that causes your emotional pain and how to stop hurting so much
MODULE 2 - WEEK 2
Emotional Resilience: The Toughening Up Process
What is emotional resilience?
Why you "lose yourself" when triggered
How to bounce back after losing yourslf
How to adapt to stressful situations without falling apart
The deeper truth about who you are
You don't have to move to a mountaintop ashram to find peace and calm
How not to carried away in your sadness, anger or pain
A guided 4-step exercise to quickly move from painful emotion to powerful energy
An in-the-moment exercise to end stress, anxiety or overwhelm in 2 minutes or less
MODULE 3 - WEEK 3
Emotional Core: Finding the Root of Your Strength & Power
Finding emotional stability even in the middle of chaos
Immediate, actionable grounding techniques to use when you're feeling anxious, nervous or lack of self-confidence
How to NOT get upset when someone says or does something insensitive to you
How to use your body to help give you instant confidence
Exhausted & overwhelmed? A quick shift to give you energy
How to prepare yourself in advance for a difficult situation ahead
How to use your dreams, memories and imagination to harness strength and power
How to use your emotions to help you (not hurt you)
Why you take things so personally
An exercise to find purpose and meaning so you become a strong pillar, unaffected by others or circumstances
You'll learn how to become a strong indestructible pillar without losing your sensitive, soft nature.
In fact, Quiet Revolution, run by Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking recently tweeted my Huffington Post article, quoting me about being both strong and delicate:
If you're finally ready for a change but you don't want to lose what makes you kind, soft and human, sign up for my course and let me show you how to toughen up while staying true to your sensitive nature.
You can see results immediately if you implement the work right away. This is an immersive, hands-on, experiential class that not only offers scientific facts, knowledge and information (for your brain's satisfaction), but also practical, actionable exercises that you can do immediately (for your heart's satisfaction). This course combines both types of learning, intellectual and experiential, so that the INFORMATION we give you doesn't just stay in your head, it sinks down into your body, into your heart, and thus creates lasting TRANSFORMATION.
With that said, some exercises are self-reflectory and may take time to think about, explore within yourself and complete. Other exercises are in-the-moment, do-right-now emotional discharge techniques that you can immediately use throughout your day when you're dealing with the nitty gritty of life, such as a coworker who's criticizing you or your dearly loved 2 year old daughter who won't give you 30 seconds of quiet and you want to hide in the closet but you can't.
Will it work for me if I'm an empath, Highly Sensitive person or don't know what I am?
Ummmm.... hello??? This course was created ESPECIALLY FOR YOU! Both Tree and Stick Girl are empaths, highly sensitive, introverted, deep feelers, intuitive, and maybe even aliens from another planet - we're not sure about that. And we designed this course based on our own experiences, our own trial and error and also working with tons of clients and research.
Will it work for me if I'm not an empath or Highly Sensitive but I just feel emotionally overdrawn, empty or can't get a grip on my feelings?
Yes. While we reference specific issues that impact many empaths, even if those don't exactly apply to you, you'll still learn the areas of toxicity that emotionally drains you and will learn processes to strengthen your emotional core so that you can better deal with any challenges that come up in life. The techniques and exercises we teach are useful for anyone who struggles with anxiety, stress, overwhelm or emotional upsets that they can't seem to control or that consume them.
What guarantee do I have if I don't like it after I buy?
You've got 30 days to try it out. If you don't like it, we'll refund your money 100%. And you can keep any of the course materials that you've already downloaded. No hassle, no guilting, no pain. Ahhh, if only ex-boyfriends were that easy to return.
What guarantee do I have that I'll actually start or follow through and finish the course?
Geez, you want us to do everything for you, don't you? With pleasure! The dropout rate for ecourses is ridiculously high. Even the best ecourses get close to 80% dropout rate. And those are the GOOD courses! So we understand your question. That's why we've created a personally tailored system especially for empaths and sensitives to help you reach the finish line.
This system is not for everyone, that's why it's optional... only the most dedicated and brave souls who dare to be kindly harassed by us and held fully accountable because they are aware of their own personal fear boundaries and limitations and know they can't do it alone (takes a lot of courage to admit that!) should opt-in for this.
Beyond joining the private facebook group available to all students so you can get help from us and other students when you get stuck, you can also opt-in to our special PPS (People Pleasers System). We know from our own personal experience that willpower and discipline is NOT enough. Seriously, how many times have you said you're "REALLY going to work out" tomorrow? And how many times did you REALLY mean it in the moment but REALLY didn't actually work out?
Tree is notorious for spending thousands of dollars on courses and not following through. So she got sick of it one day and decided to do something about it. It worked for her and here's how it will work for you:
You know that annoying thing we sensitive folks do called "people pleasing"? We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings AND we like to be liked so we do things we often don't want to do in order to please the other person. Well, we're going to use this trait to our advantage to help us transform our lives.
If you opt-in to our special PPS, Tree & Stick Girl will send you multi-weekly emails and tag you in the Facebook group, basically (and lovingly) stalking and harassing you to give us your progress updates. If you give us your cell phone #, we will stalk you by text too!
After all, you will have to update us (and tell us your excuses) on your progress (or lack of) on a weekly basis. And you do want to be a good student and please us, don't you? :D
Seriously, Tree discovered she liked being a "star student" so she used that to her advantage and instead of resisting or judging the desire as shallow, or trying to get validation from within instead of from others, she dove unashamedly head first into people pleasing and pushed herself to become a star student in every course she knew would change her life. She not only became a star student in those courses, she actually did change her life (this course, for example, would not exist nor would her successful coaching business exist if she hadn't used her "people pleasing" to her advantage).
So let us help you in the same way. Maybe it's a bit twisted but why not use what most people consider our weaknesses to our own benefit? We're huge proponents of transforming our so-called weaknesses and using them to uplift and help us. Why fight something that you can turn around to use to help you?
If you're finally ready to make lasting changes in your life, now's the time. Click the link below.